The purpose of this document is to set out a plan for the creative and constructive use of a period of time the cohabiting couple can use to build a strong foundation for marriage. This is particularly for couples who profess to be Christians and those who wish to move in that direction.
The following are some guiding principles:
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1). Therefore, there are two things which a creative period of separation is not: It is not punishment, because Jesus paid the price for all our sin. And it is not a way to earn more favor with God. We approach God with all our needs confidently because of the status Jesus has given us as a gift through the cross: we are God’s children.
Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the church; therefore we approach Christian marriage with the sense of a high calling. (Ephesians 5:21-31)
The roles of husband and wife shown in the Bible are not conditioned by culture, and therefore the gospel promise of life in Christ moves you in two manners: closer to God and blessing, and further from the world and compromise.
The decision to live in two different residences until the day of marriage must be mutual, and cannot be one that is enforced or policed by man. It is a sacred matter of grace between the man and the woman and their God. It is a faith decision made in response to God.
This period is expected to be creative and constructive. Therefore, resources will be given to the couple, chiefly God’s Word and special guided opportunities for learning and fellowship. God always shows His grace to be more than sufficient for our need.
The roles of the man and woman are laid out in scripture to correspond with Christ’s love for the church, His bride. Therefore, although these roles are not ironclad and inflexible by any means, the man will learn the art of initiating and the woman the art of responding. Some traditions call this time of preparing for marriage “courtship”. (Our culture has almost totally lost the sense of this: the church must not follow culture but lead it.) The assumption is that God in his wisdom calls the man to learn to initiate, because men in sin are prone to neglect things and renege on their responsibilities. The assumption is also that God, in grace, calls the woman to learn response because she, in some sense, needs to learn to wait upon the man as the church waits upon the Lord for His word.
Finally, a sacred period of separation is an act of love toward the community. It gains the couple a place of respect which their cohabitation had in effect undercut. And it gains for themselves a clear conscience and defense against Satan’s accusations, which he constantly hurls at Christ’s bride.
The following are some guiding principles:
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1). Therefore, there are two things which a creative period of separation is not: It is not punishment, because Jesus paid the price for all our sin. And it is not a way to earn more favor with God. We approach God with all our needs confidently because of the status Jesus has given us as a gift through the cross: we are God’s children.
Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the church; therefore we approach Christian marriage with the sense of a high calling. (Ephesians 5:21-31)
The roles of husband and wife shown in the Bible are not conditioned by culture, and therefore the gospel promise of life in Christ moves you in two manners: closer to God and blessing, and further from the world and compromise.
The decision to live in two different residences until the day of marriage must be mutual, and cannot be one that is enforced or policed by man. It is a sacred matter of grace between the man and the woman and their God. It is a faith decision made in response to God.
This period is expected to be creative and constructive. Therefore, resources will be given to the couple, chiefly God’s Word and special guided opportunities for learning and fellowship. God always shows His grace to be more than sufficient for our need.
The roles of the man and woman are laid out in scripture to correspond with Christ’s love for the church, His bride. Therefore, although these roles are not ironclad and inflexible by any means, the man will learn the art of initiating and the woman the art of responding. Some traditions call this time of preparing for marriage “courtship”. (Our culture has almost totally lost the sense of this: the church must not follow culture but lead it.) The assumption is that God in his wisdom calls the man to learn to initiate, because men in sin are prone to neglect things and renege on their responsibilities. The assumption is also that God, in grace, calls the woman to learn response because she, in some sense, needs to learn to wait upon the man as the church waits upon the Lord for His word.
Finally, a sacred period of separation is an act of love toward the community. It gains the couple a place of respect which their cohabitation had in effect undercut. And it gains for themselves a clear conscience and defense against Satan’s accusations, which he constantly hurls at Christ’s bride.
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